“I’ve developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time” Charlie Brown (Charles Schulz)
Avoiding pain and seeking pleasure is the heart of the human condition. So why is it that we continue to live in times other than the present, unable to find happiness in the day to day rituals? We often hear people say, “I can’t wait till Friday.” Why? We all know the answer. Work isn’t always fun. But with only 52 Fridays out of a 365 calendar year, are we wishing away our lives?
I did a roll call this morning and found that conflict, worry, and stress were present and accounted for in the life of the people I know and I would venture a guess that most people have some area of life that is creating stress, angst, and worry. When people find themselves consciously avoiding situations, we may loosely refer to it as a “smudge of anxiety” or “feelin’ a little neurotic” (Note: I am by no means referring to the psychiatric condition of anxiety). Then when we react to our anxiety with negative emotions, we actually give our power away.
“Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast” (Anchorman)
Whether you suffer from an anxiety disorder or an overbearing boss; the symptoms of worry can be similar in presentation but vary depending on severity. Anxiety begins with physical arousal, which is often masked by the emotions of the moment. Arousal symptoms include increased heart rate, sweaty palms, blasts of tension, anger, or the sudden desire to run a few laps. When your unconscious or consciousness drops the ball in responding appropriately, cognitive dreading will make an appearance, and if left to its own devices, will invite his close friend, rumination, to join the process.
If you’ve invited all these folks to the party, you can bet that your body will have a nice hangover by keeping you up when you want to sleep and lethargic when you’re supposed to be active (barring that you don’t suffer from other medical or physiological conditions). If you are still indulging in your cup of worry during the hangover period, the sense of doom that sits in the pit of your stomach can quickly throw physical, emotional and cognitive systems into complete discord. Failure to find even a semi-appropriate response at this point invites all sorts of unpleasant characters, such as irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, temporo-mandibular joint (TMJ) pain, acne, and ulcers. You may have already experienced some of these symptoms at lower levels of stress due to genetic factors, other medical issues, or chronic worry and stress.
My therapy approach
My clinical experience has been that people often experience anxiety when their body is telling them that something has not received adequate resolution. While I appreciate the “whys” of the experience, my initial approach is to usually help this person find a break in the tension and build therapeutic rapport. When the only symptom is anxiety or perseverating thoughts, I provide several helpful techniques to “talk back” to the anxiety that is telling them that the thing they fear most will happen, and/or when the anxiety takes up occupancy in the physical wellness of a person. I try to teach them how to safely experience and, in certain circumstances, invite the fearful thoughts into the room and cope with them. Later we may process the combustibles that started the fire of anxiety so that not only do we stop the current incident, but we work on prevention of future experiences. My style is holistic, including consideration of the effects of anxiety-inducing chemicals as well as incorporating health promotion activities, curiosity, humor, compassion and insight-oriented therapy into the therapy sessions.
My personal philosophy is that it is a pleasure to be in the here and now to fully experience the joys and challenges of each day. Besides, I don’t particularly care for the alternative.
What should I do? Every situation is unique and ultimately you have to weigh the pros and cons to decide what makes the most sense for your situation. If you like this article you may want to subscribe to receive a notification of the next post, “Dancing with Worry,” which briefly explores the natural cycle of perseveration and worry.
Written by: Julie Barbour, LCSW owner and founder of Clinical Hour, LLC
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I like to read your site a couple times a week for new readings. I was wondering if you have any other subjects you write about?
Hi,
I do write about other topics (fitness, diet and nutrition) however because I don’t have a certification to give advice about these matters (as of yet), I play more of a corresponding role on those sites. Thanks for asking and I hope you find my future articles interesting!